The Empty Chair

When grief comes knocking on our door the aftermath takes a very long time to get over.  Loosing a loved one, means you have to contend with grief, and it can be very hard for some people to deal with.

The worse things to deal with are the anniversary’s the holidays, and the constant reminder that the person has gone as there will be an empty chair, they used to occupy.

My husband used to sit in the conservatory on a black recliner rocker chair. When he died i couldn’t bear to look at it, and one day I swear I saw it rock, which freaked me out.

I gave it away, that empty chair was no more. It was gone, but sadly it didn’t fill the emptiness I feel everyday not having my beloved by me or near me to talk too.

The emptiness of grief is so hard to deal with. I feel forsaken, lost on a journey which I don’t want to be on.  My heart is aching when will grief the unwanted guest in my house finally leave me?

Sadly I know when grief does leave me, there will be another knock on a door for someone else and again it will be that unwanted visitor who doesn’t even wait to be invited in.

Happy Easter to my family who have passed away, missed everyday and never forgotten, grief may visit us, but we can still keep the memory of our loved ones alive by talking about them, and how they were.  They need never leave our hearts or our minds, and we can take comfort in the fact that they would have been a large part of who we are now.

My lovely hubby Mike, a kind and caring man, a loving man, always there to help others no matter how ill he was or tired he was, never would he let a friend down. He was amazing very clever. A keen fisherman, loved steam trains, spitfires (more the engines), he was a keen C B radio enthusiast and his handle was TIMBERJACK.

He was a very talented driver and won many cups production car trailing and grass track racing, he worked years ago with motorbikes and would go off to Europe with his friend who raced them.  Mike was a brilliant engineer mechanical and electronics. He could fix any engine or car and always did a good job. A perfectionist.

An amazingly clever man sadly missed.

The many faces of mike.

 

Its soon to be his 1st Anniversary since he left me and his family and friends. I am still grieving everyday for him. Sad as when your together and your bitching at one another over silly things, or moaning about mess, or “where have you been” etc, it just isn’t important not really.  If you love someone just love them for who they are don[t try to change them. Once they have gone no matter who it is, you will have to face that empty chair and then all the silly little niggles just seem so pointless.

I would love just once more to see oil stained hands on my front door where my Mike had been outside working on his car, and never thought to wipe his hands before coming back in, its all so well stupid now.

My tribute to my hubby I paid for a bench in his honour to be placed in the middle of our town so all his family and friends could still feel close to him. So many people knew him and loved him.

Remember just love your family and partners and cherish them because you just never know when it might all end.  Mikes memorial bench, my friend superimposed another photo of him onto it.  I can imagine him sitting there chatting to everyone, as he loved to chat. xxxxxxxxxx love you hubby.

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